What is Toxic Empathy and Do You Have It?

Empathy has been called a superpower, and for good reason. It is something we are all born with, and when we use it well, it fuels the skills that make us better friends, better colleagues, and better humans. But there is a point at which empathy can start working against us, and that is what Rob Volpe joined Good Things Utah to talk about.

Toxic empathy is a recently coined term for what happens when empathy becomes one-sided or unchecked. The problem is not caring too much in general. It is caring only about people who look like us, think like us, or share our beliefs, while failing to extend that same consideration to people who do not. When empathy stays inside that narrow lane, it stops being a tool for connection and starts being a justification for division.

There is also the question of decision-making. Empathy is valuable data, but it works best when it is balanced with rational thinking. When someone needs financial help, for example, empathy sparks the compassion that moves you to act. But acting beyond what you can logically afford is where things tip. Too little empathy is clearly a problem. Too much, applied without balance, can create its own set of challenges.

In this segment on Good Things Utah, Rob unpacks the difference between healthy empathy and the toxic version, and why the goal is not to feel less but to make sure what you feel is informing smarter, more inclusive decisions.

👉 Watch the full segment on Good Things Utah or pick up a copy of Tell Me More About That at the books page.